Lengthy Drives and Stupid People
by Lovebites and Popcorn
Summary: Roxas didn't know if he could start all over again from scratch. Not when he knew everything and they knew nothing. AKUROKU. The requested companion fic to Mashed Potatoes and Family Reunions. /BONUS CHAPTER ADDED./
1. Parte I

**LENGTHY DRIVES AND STUPID PEOPLE  
**_**A Companion fic to Mashed Potatoes and Family Reunions  
**_

_Roxas didn't know if he could start all over again from scratch. Not when he knew everything and they knew nothing. Well, he'd been getting along in life pretty well so far. Up until the family reunion at Sora's. That was when irony started mocking him in every way possible. __**Akuroku.**_

_**Author's Note: **__Hello all! This companion fic was published due to overwhelming response demanding Roxas' side of the story in Mashed Potatoes and Family Reunions. Really, I didn't plan on writing this any time soon. But you readers _asked_ for it. So, here's Roxas' POV of the entire affair surrounding the family gathering, told in XIII different parts. If you haven't actually read MP&FR, it's advised that you do so before reading this. Or read it after. It will help you get the whole picture. Fair warning: With a different perspective comes a different disposition. Simply put: Roxas' outlook is so totally __**not**__ like Axel's. This might even actually distort your initial beliefs, but if you go back and scrutinize part 1 and 2, you'll probably pick up the little hints and 'Easter eggs' that parallel this fic. Aye, you've probably had enough of my incessant rambling. Onwards!_

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I. The Road Trip

The duffel bag hit the interior of the car with a gratifying _thump_ as I flung it as hard and as far into the trunk as I cared to let it go. Then, slamming the hood shut, I scooted towards the front, only to find Naminé in the passenger seat. _My _passenger seat. _Hello? I thought we had a deal, _I wanted to grumble. She must've read the expression on my face, because she gave me a small, apologetic, sweet-and-sugary-candy-bar smile and coiled a thin strand of platinum blonde hair around a finger, eyes bright and innocent.

"I'm really sorry, Roxas. My turn to sit up front," she said to me, "You _know_ how carsick I get during long trips. Especially when Cloud's driving."

She gave me one of _those_ looks. If I were any other person, I would have melted on the spot. But I wasn't _any other person_, so I just sighed and shook my head. "S'okay, Nam. Back's better anyways," I lied (for her sake) and yanked the back door open, slamming it shut behind me as I got into the vehicle (our parent's five-seater sedan). _Hey, at least I got the entire back to myself_, I told myself, quashing the idea that I was a sucker for my sister. Well, fine. That was largely true to an extent. Naminé was what you would call a 'calm, collected, lovable, quiet and shy individual'. But she could be a devious little child when she wanted to be. She knew just how to get her way with her sweet demeanour. However, to me, all that really didn't matter. Naminé was my guiding star in this pathetic life of mine. Kind of like my pillar of strength. She anchored me. I wish I could say the same the other way around; but what good was I in her eyes? Not much, surely. So if she wanted the front, fine. I could afford to cut her some slack. Really. She deserved it.

Cloud walked out of the house (stumbled, actually) with a cardboard box full of stuff that I knew he wanted to return to Leon and dumped it in the back along with all our other random shit before taking his place at the wheel. The only reason why the car was loaded with so much of our crap was because we were staying over at the Leonhart's after the dinner tonight. Oh joy.

No. I had nothing against Sora or his family. I loved them dearly. No, really. I did. But sometimes, it was hard to deal with them. Especially Sora. Sora was ignorant. Oblivious. In more ways than one. Seeing him kind of made me _resent_ being who I was. It also made me feel somewhat bitter for knowing what I knew. It was always Sora. There were others, yes. But it was always Sora who made me feel the bitterness behind everything. Sora and his blue eyes. Sora and his big heart. Sora and his relentless ability to stay positive. Sora this, Sora that. Sora wasn't the only one though. Like I said, there were others. And whenever I saw them, they always reminded me that _I_ fucking _knew._ And they _didn't_.

Cloud gunned the engine, bringing me back to reality. As he pulled out of the driveway in a very much less-than-graceful manner, I mentally prepared myself for a very, very long trip. It was twelve noon. We'd be lucky to make it to Inner Twilight by sundown (if we actually survive the drive). Fingers crossed, I guess. Cloud wasn't what I'd call a remarkably safe driver. I've seen some of the stuff he's done on his motorcycle. Add that to the fact that he nearly ran this very car over the neighbour's poodle a few days ago and narrowly missed said neighbour's mailbox by mere inches, you'd be pretty worried for your own personal safety whenever you got into a car with my brother.

Stupid Cloud.

Yes, this was going to be a very long drive.

By the time we reached Highway 813, I found myself thinking about the impending gathering. Us Strifes were related to the Leonharts through our mom. She was Uncle Laguna's sister. Anyways, we were dubbed 'the Strife Siblings' by our relatives. Either that or 'the Blonde Trio'. Quite amusing, really. But it wasn't like I enjoyed being associated with someone like Cloud. He was such a moron sometimes if I do say so myself. Such a fucking moron. I didn't hate him. No. On the contrary, I quite respected him. I just didn't exactly look up to him like a typical kid would look up to his older bro. Cloud didn't deserve to be idolised. Naminé on the other hand…

I found myself unconsciously fingering the chain around my neck. The silver necklace with two miniature hand-sculpted keys dangling from it. Naminé, my twin sister, made them for me for my (our) sixteenth birthday the August before. "Sweet sixteenth!" she told me, "It's a very special birthday for the both of us!" And the gift had been presented to me in a box, neatly wrapped in gold with a small pink bow and an attached card that had the words '_And on your 16__th__, keep your oaths safe, lest they fade into oblivion_' scribbled in red and yellow crayon. And even before unwrapping and opening the box, I had an inkling as to what was within.

I don't know if the birthday had been particularly out of the ordinary, especially for _her_ since all I'd given her was a measly gold-plated bangle and a new leather-bound sketchbook. They were _nothing_ compared to what she gave _me_. What she gave me was more than just _special_. It was, without doubt, the greatest treasure I own to this date. Irreplaceable, really. Naminé was always good at making jewellery, among other things. She had really outdone herself with the masterpiece. The two keys looked so life-like despite their infinitesimal dimension. They very much resembled their actual counter-parts. Not that I could tell what the real ones looked like anymore. It's been far too long. A lifetime, really. But these keys… they reminded me so much of _them_. Exact artistic precision. Just what I expected out of Naminé. My sister. My twin sister in this life.

I glanced up towards the front, feeling eyes on me. My gaze fell on Nami, in all her fair-skinned, golden-haired glory. She was watching me through the side view mirror for a few silent moments as I fiddled with the necklace. Her gaze was almost worrisome. Anxious. Troubled. I wanted her to stop staring. But more than that, I wanted her to stop worrying. She _always_ did that; always felt the _need_ to. Sometimes, I think she's been doing it since we were born. I wanted to tell her to look away. But I knew I wouldn't be able to bring myself to say anything about it. So I started a light conversation instead, to keep her thoughts elsewhere (and not on me – she did enough worrying for the both of us). I decided on something trivial. Well, not really. But trivial enough.

"Hey, Nam?"

"Hmm?"

"Any chance of dumping Hayner?"

I don't think I sounded particularly concerned in the matter. The two had hooked up a few weeks back. The thing about being twins was that you shared the same friends, mostly. Hayner was as good a friend as any and I knew he would treat Naminé with the respect she deserved. But somehow, the fact that Hayner and Naminé were together was just… unorthodox. Improper. Unfitting. To me, anyways. Maybe I just couldn't (didn't want to) wrap my head around occurring anomalies. I had to keep telling myself not to parallel this life with a previous one.

She tilted her head to one side almost curiously and blinked at me through the glass. "Uh, I don't think so. Why?"

I shook my head. "Nothing," I mumbled.

"Olette asked you out, didn't she?"

I think I frowned at her. _Only because she couldn't get Hayner,_ I wanted to reply. But I didn't. _You're the catalyst, Naminé,_ I wanted to say. But I didn't. Instead, I just said "yeah" and gave her a nod. It was all I could do.

"And you turned her down."

It wasn't a question. She knew too much. The answer was obvious to the both of us.

But I replied anyway.

"You know I would never say yes."

She let loose a sigh and looked sadly at me through the mirror and said nothing more. But I could read it in her eyes. I knew what she was thinking. We've had many a conversation in private about this before. About me rejecting any and _every_ person who asked me out on a date. I knew what she was thinking. She was always thinking it. That's why she always always _always_ gave me those sad, worrisome looks every goddamn minute of the day.

_You can't just keep waiting, you know?_

I knew.

Hell. I really did.

But as much as I knew I had to, I wouldn't. I would _never_ stop. Waiting, that is.

I knew Naminé's patience was wearing thin with me. But I really didn't care. I would wait.

Hell, everyone was turning up. One by one. It would only be a matter of time. And my waiting would pay off. Or so I hoped.

"Why wouldn't you say yes?" Cloud spoke up when Naminé remained silent.

My eyes snapped towards the back of my older brother's head. "Since when were you interested in my love life?"

He shrugged, eyes focused on the road before him. "Since just now?"

Stupid Cloud. What did _he_ know?

Two hours into the drive, my phone went off. I knew it was my phone because it wasn't monophonic (like Cloud's) or anything by Utada Hikaru (like Naminé's).

"Dear god, that is the most annoying ringtone _ever_," Cloud grumbled mildly.

"Shut it, bro. Do you even listen to your own crappy ringtones?" I growled, fumbling for the phone in my pocket. "They're all shrilly, 8-bit, short-ass, annoying, repetitive- hello?"

"Better than emo rock," Cloud muttered. I ignored him.

"Sora?" I spoke into the phone, recognising my cousin's voice. Well, he _was_ sort of screaming into the receiver at his end. "'Sup?"

"You guys got long to go?" my brunet relative asked. He sounded a little distracted. I believe he was playing the PS3. Probably with Leon. I mean, they couldn't have guests yet, right? It was still way too early.

"We've been on the road two hours I think," I replied, glancing at the time on the digital clock on the car's dashboard. "Got another three to go. If we end up late, you guys start without us."

"_DANG IT. STAY STILL, STUPID!_ … Eh, uh, don't worry. We ain't starting dinner without you Strifes!"

"… Thanks."

"Yeah. Uh, just checking up on you guys, that's all. Mom asked me to. Good to know you're still alive. I've seen your bro drive. Even _Leon_ drives better than Cloud. Anyways, I gotta' go now. I'm getting my ass handed to me in Tekken. Oh crap! That's totally _cheating_, A-"

The line went dead.

Wasn't he meant to be preparing for a party? Oh well. I looked up and towards the front. "Hey, Cloud?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"Step on it."

Four hours into the drive, we found ourselves with three warnings and two speeding tickets. Cloud took me seriously, it seemed. I took the wheel during the last hour, chalking up my brother's reckless driving to fatigue and agitation. I forced him to pull over and let me drive. It was nice to be behind the wheel. At least with me driving, I knew I wasn't going to kill us all. I only just got my licence last month. But I reckon I was pretty okay on the road. Better than Cloud at least. He preferred _Fenrir_ for some reason. Not that I really cared. He could marry his stupid bike if he wanted and I wouldn't bat an eyelid. Seriously.

Anyway, it didn't take me long to enter the inner metropolis of Twilight City. How Sora (the rich bastard) and his family could afford to live within such an urbanised district is beyond me.

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II. The Arrival at the Leonhart's

Arriving fashionably late was probably how we usually turn up to gatherings. It was a Strife thing, I believe. We were, as usual, the last to arrive. And the place was, as usual, jam-packed full of people. The din of muffled conversation was incredible. You could hear the commotion from _outside_. Then again, shove half a hundred people into one house and see what you get. Fucking noise pollution, that's what.

Great. Just great. I hated crowds. I hated socializing even more. I could never find the words to say to people. Everyone knew I wasn't much of a conversationalist. A Screaming Expletives Match, I could do. A Glaring Competition, I could do _even better_. But small talk with people? Introverts like me weren't the type to do that. Actually, Cloud and Naminé were also pretty reclusive. Probably a Strife thing too. Ah well, at least the people here weren't strangers.

"Hey everyone! The Strife kids are here!" someone (obviously _Demyx_) had announced excitedly as we entered through the front door.

So much for walking in unnoticed.

Everyone chorused a greeting of hellos and hi theres. It was then that I realised that I hadn't seen these people in awhile. But none of them had really changed much. I could spy that Luxord had shaved off his goatee and I think Kairi changed her hair colour to a variant shade of red. It looked comparatively more pinkish now and matched the dress she was wearing. Of course, it could've been the severe lack of lighting in the house or maybe my eyes just weren't working right.

Leon was the first to actually approach us formally in greeting. But then again, his family _was_ hosting the reunion this time 'round. Common courtesy. Good to see he was at least capable of _that_. "Late, as usual," he drawled, shaking his head in mock-disapproval. "But at least you guys made it."

So much for common courtesy.

"Not our fault we live almost six bloody hours away," Cloud muttered, shoving the box of stuff he'd brought along into Leon's hands. "Your entire Triple Triad card collection I borrowed last month," Cloud explained when Leon looked at the box with an enquiring frown. "And your stack of jazz CDs and Firefly DVDs."

"Oh. Yeah. Thanks. I thought you were never going to give them back."

"Did you, now?" Cloud smirked.

I wish Cloud wouldn't smirk. Not at _Leon_ anyways. It always creeped the hell out of me when he did. No one should look at Leon that way. Especially not my idiot brother.

Leon shrugged. "Whatever. Dinner's starting at seven." He hefted the box. "I'm gonna go put this away. Make yourselves at home. If you need anything, look for my parents." And our dark-haired brunet of a cousin headed off in a random direction – presumably towards the staircase and to his bedroom to dump his cardboard box.

The three of us just kinda stood there for a few seconds. Then Cloud spotted Yuffie and a few other people he usually hung around with at gatherings like these, mumbled something like 'see you guys later', and headed towards them, momentarily disappearing into the crowd.

Naminé and I stared at each other.

"Well, shall we go mingle?" she asked me quietly when I didn't seem to be talking. She knew full well that I didn't really like this notion of… 'mingling'. No idea why she proposed that we should.

But it didn't really matter either way, because Kairi's older brother, Reno, had already sidled up to talk to us.

"Hellooooo dear Twins of the Clan of Strife! You two're looking rather similar today! Must be the blonde tresses and pools of blue!"

He sounded like he'd just won a million munny. Either that or he was drunk. I mean, when was Reno _never_ drinking? Anyways, I believe I just took a step back from him and rolled my eyes. "Ha, ha. That's a new one," I muttered more sarcastically than I really intended. Well, really, I don't think I've actually heard that one before. The usual '_Nami totally Rox!'_ jokes were getting old.

"Aw, you just _love_ to burst the bubble, duncha Rox?" And he laughed, reached out, and ruffled my hair. "Seriously though, I think the white outfits make you two look really identical."

I didn't care that my white shirt or Naminé's white dress made us look more twin-like. THE IDIOT HAD _RUFFLED MY HAIR_. HE ACTUALLY RUFFLED MY HAIR. What… the… fuck.

_Touch me again and I _will_ kill you, _I wanted to grate out. But decided not to. Killing your cousin was supposedly frowned upon in high-class societies. I kinda wished it wasn't. Really, I did.

"Hello, Reno," Naminé smiled in greeting, shooting me a warning look. She's always known that Reno made me uncomfortable. He _did_, actually. And I hated the fact that it was true. Stupid bastard with the long red hair and the tattoos.

Fuck. I hated being such a frigging hypocrite.

"How've you been?" Naminé continued to ask our cousin.

"Me? I believe my mood's been a little shitty these few days, but hey! Right now, I'm havin' a ball!"

"That's nice to hear. I believe you and Kairi got accepted by a modelling agency?"

"Yeah. Ain't that awesome?"

"Your parents gave you guys permission to do modelling?"

"Dad doesn't care," Reno waved his hand in the air nonchalantly. "But mom said yes. My mom's cool like that."

"Your mom's cool," Naminé nodded in agreement. I wonder if she was just agreeing for the sake of agreeing.

"Aaaanyways, where the heck has Cloud gone?"

"Yuffie, I think," I muttered in response, hoping he would go away and go on a quest to find my stupid brother.

"Right. Thanks. I'll go say hi to him. I think I owe him munny. Or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, there was cash involved in our previous exchange. See ya guys later!" And Reno shrugged and left. Finally. All I really heard out of that conversation was _blah, blah, blah, cool moms, blah, Cloud, blah, etc_.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ Reno.

"Roxas?"

"What?" I snapped, suddenly annoyed. Her voice had been quiet and soft.

I didn't know why I snapped. I didn't know why I was annoyed. Actually… yeah, I _did_. And I wish I didn't.

Naminé raised an eyebrow at me.

"Sorry," I murmured apologetically. I really was sorry. I gave her a helpless shrug, then glanced in the direction that our loud cousin had left seconds before.

She gave me a long, gauging look for a few moments, and I could see that her eyes were tinted with that sadness again. And then, she looked away and sighed. "I'm gonna go talk to Aunt Yuna, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Okay."

"Maybe you could go look for Sora?"

**

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III. The Search for Sora

I was pretty annoyed that Naminé just ditched me like that. Okay, she didn't ditch me. But she obviously hinted that we should split up. I suppose she was getting pretty exasperated with me. Or maybe she thought I needed some independence. Or something. But it wasn't like I had _asked_ to be babied by my sister in the first place. She always felt the need to watch over me, to lose sleep over me, to concern herself with _my_ life. She _gave_ herself that obligation. It was almost endearing. And I guess I kinda got used to it. Maybe she's finally feeling like I needed to break out of my dependence.

Fuck. I'm not making sense. I have no idea what the hell I'm getting at.

I went off to look for Sora. Spotted Kairi Lexa and Riku Mensa from afar. They were standing in a secluded corner chatting away. Well, if they were there, where the heck was Sora? I frowned. The Leonhart was usually with those two. They were like, the Three Musketeers. Or whatever. The only difference was that the Three Musketeers weren't in love with each other. I smirked to myself. Fucking incestuous love triangles.

Kairi looked up from her conversation with Riku and found me looking towards them. She gave me a friendly wave and a wide smile, in which I returned with a curt nod. Riku just raised an eyebrow, looked away and took a sip from his drink, acting completely disinterested. Well, fuck you too, asshole.

"ROXAS!"

I nearly swore when Demyx came up to me from behind and clapped me on the back like I was someone he's never seen in decades. Goddammit! Did he _want_ to give me a heart attack? I swear to God, I never knew how annoying it would be to _know_ that I was now actually capable of _getting_ heart attacks.

I turned on the spot and gave the blond sita-_guitarist_ a thin smile. "Hey, Dem. Nice to see you again. You seem rather high today." Which wasn't unusual. The dude was always happy about something. Or rather, he was happy all the time, even if it was over _nothing._

My step-cousin (he was adopted as a kid) grinned a huge grin. "Not everyday that you get to see everyone in the family!" he quipped.

"True…"

"So, how you been, Rox? Wow, you look like you've grown since I last saw you, uh… what was it, three-four-five months back now?"

"Yeah… Four months, actually. And I've been doing fine." _Lies!_ _All lies!_ the back of my head screamed. "What about you?"

"Me? Hah! Guess what? Oh, man, you totally _have_ to guess!" he practically shrieked at me. And I had no time to say anything before he continued excitedly. "Y'know what? Huh? Huuuuuh? I play in a band now! Set it up with some of my pals from college. Check it out! We call it The Thirteenth Order! Cool huh?" He was practically jumping up and down in a frenzy.

I think I wanted to murder something. I really think I did.

"The… Thirteenth… Order…" I repeated slowly, and I probably came out as sounding like I didn't like the band name or something, because Demyx's face fell.

"What? Don't you think it's an awesome name?"

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah! It sounds, um, great! Very… original! I like it."

He brightened immediately. "I came up with it!" he twittered. "It just came to me outta the blue, y'know? BAM! Hit me in the head like a brainwave! It's not very often I get brainwaves like them."

I smiled, half-amused, half-indifferent. "And I suppose you're lead guitarist? Or something?" I ventured. I didn't know if he could do vocals very well, from what I've heard of his singing voice in the past.

"Yup! You know it!"

"Right. Well, congrats on your new band… I guess. I'm actually looking for Sora. D'you know where he is?"

"Cooking," said a new voice.

Demyx and I looked up. It was Luxord. Uncle Luxord. He was shuffling a deck of cards in one hand and giving us both his damned trademark smirk of smugness. He looked quite odd without his goatee. No, scratch that, he looked _very_ odd without it. It wasn't normal. It was downright freaky. It's like taking away something you've been so used to seeing, y'know? Totally weird.

"You said Sora's where?" I raised an eyebrow.

The gambler laughed. "Oh yeah, thanks Roxas. No _hello, how are you my dear Uncle Luxord,_ for me? I feel unloved!"

I rolled my eyes at the man. Riiiight. I decided to humour him. "Hello. How are you my dear Uncle Luxord?"

Demyx giggled. He actually _giggled_.

Luxord shook his head and chuckled. "Roxas, you're a funny kid, you know that?"

"Glad you noticed. Now, you mentioned that Sora was… cooking?"

"Yeah. Cooking dinner. In the kitchen. You'll find him there."

**

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IV. The Kitchen Convergence

The first thing I noticed when I entered the kitchen was a faint smell of something burning. The second thing I noticed was that Sora had spotted me and was barrelling towards me and screaming.

"HEY! Oh _gosh_! Roxas! You _made_ it! Man, I've so _tooootally_ _missed you_!"

And then he practically launched himself at me and almost squeezed me to death. It felt like he was some anaconda and I was like, a field mouse. And he was going to constrict me to death and then eat me whole. But then I think he finally got the hint that I needed to breathe to actually be able to talk to him. So he let go eventually.

"Hey, Sor." I stepped back a little shakily from my maniacal cousin, smoothing down my shirt. "Great to see you again. Sorry we got here a little late…"

He grinned, blue eyes alight with pure unadulterated joy. "Nah, don't worry about it!" he exclaimed. And I immediately relaxed into his presence. There was just something about Sora (not just as a cousin, but maybe something else) that made me loosen up whenever we were together. He was… different from the others. He was… well, let's just say he was (and maybe still _is_) in many ways, my _Other_. Sometimes I didn't know whether to be embittered by that or glad.

"You got here just in time for the dinner," the brunet continued with his usual lively vigour. "How was the trip up here? Good? Not too taxing?"

I think our conversation went on for quite awhile.

And then there was a slam from the other side of the kitchen divider. Two seconds later, Axel's head appeared in the hole of the partition.

FUCK.

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS AXEL DOING HERE?

NOW?

OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE?

I think my brain refused to work for a few moments. I just… I never expected it. This.

Fuck.

It just crashed. My brain. All the waiting. All the promises to myself that yes, he'll show up one day. All the reassurances from Naminé that turned into exasperation and impatience after all the years that flashed by without a sign... All the fucking WAITING goddammit. And now _here he is_, in Sora's goddamn kitchen. And… and… why here? Why _now_? Surprise must have taken over coherent thought. Or something. Because instead of feeling anything remotely resembling happiness, I was just confused. Disordered. It was all a chaotic mess. My mind was just a fucking chaotic mess. I didn't know _what_ the _hell _to think or even _feel_. I was actually feeling something like upset. But I pushed that far, far away because I was so _confused_. So I think I settled for… nothing. Brain numbness. Blankness.

And then Sora spoke. And I kind of took my emotions from there. Square one.

"Rox, this is my best friend Axel Onér. He's staying the night. Ax, meet my cousin, Roxas Strife."

I think I stared at Sora like he was the fucking devil. He didn't _know_. _Anything_. He didn't have a fucking clue because he was fucking _clueless_. But still. I was not a fucking fan of irony. Irony can go screw itself and crash and burn and go to hell. And… _fuck_! _Best friend…_ I didn't want to label my cousin as a fucking friend-stealer. Or whatever. But my brain really didn't want to register anything else. It _couldn't_ register anything else. Not right now at this moment in time. Other than the two words that came out of his mouth.

Best. Friend.

Axel extended a hand. I think he wanted me to shake it.

I dunno. What the hell did I know?

… My head hurt. I just stared at Axel in that one single moment. Drank him in. He looked no different from what I expected he would look like when I finally found him again. Actually, I didn't know if I would ever find him again. I had actually started to lose hope at one point.

Red hair, green eyes, dual tattoos under each eye.

Axel.

Axel Onér.

Flaming red hair. Piercing green eyes. The permanent tattoos. Sora's best friend. Sora's fucking best friend. Number Eight. Eight. Eight. Something like Nobodies in the middle of a fire. Fire. Fire. Death by disappearance. Fade to black. Oblivion. Nothingness. Some other lifetime. The next life. I found you. Found you. Found you. I finally found you. You didn't find me. But I found you. But did it matter? No one knows a goddamn fucking thing here. No one. No one. Why would you be any different? Ignorant, oblivious. Sora, Demyx, Riku, Luxord, everyone. Everyone. EVERYONE. Except Naminé. Except me. I found you. But did it fucking _matter_?

I was… I didn't know. I felt kind of unconscious. Like, I wasn't even in my own body. I was feeling… what was the word for it? Ethereal? I just felt fragile.

Just… ah, fuck it.

I didn't know if I could stay in there for much longer, so I just shook his hand and left. I was confused. I hated being confused. It made me irate. I couldn't remember very much that happened in the kitchen. Up until the point Sora's _best friend_ appeared – materialised back into my life like destiny painted a Picasso and granted my wish that I didn't even know if I wanted anymore – I had no fucking clue what actually happened in there.

_

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**Author's Note:**

_I feel sad for Roxas. It's sad the others don't know. Apart from Nami, of course. Naminé knows all! Anyway, I think Reno saying this line: "Hellooooo dear Twins of the Clan of Strife! You two're looking rather similar today! Must be the blonde tresses and pools of blue!" really amused me. Silly Reno Lexa. Axel Onér needs to teach him a thing or two. ;)_

_Parts V – VIII will be posted in due time. Check back soon! :)_

_Now __review__! I demand one from every reader! This means __you__!_


	2. Parte II

**LENGTHY DRIVES AND STUPID PEOPLE  
**_**A Companion fic to Mashed Potatoes and Family Reunions**_**  
**_Parte II_

_**Author's Note: **__I'm in love with my reviewers. No seriously. You guys are ten kinds of awesome! I'm glad some of you caught Reno's famous little quote from Advent Children that Naminé used during her exchange with Reno himself. LOL. _

_MANY THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING FOR REVIEWING: __**Zheyne, iluvtoady, ScuzzyToast, Geesesaymoo, Ally Montgomery, p3achy, DarkChibiBehemoth, xWhisperWolfx, Serious-Sarcasm **__and __**Miharu-tenshi. **__You guys have made me extremely happy. (:_

* * *

**V. The Talk with Demyx**

I tore through the house looking for Naminé. No, not literally. But I came pretty close. And yes, I was very, very unhappy that I could not find her _anywhere_. She had all but vanished into thin air with a puff of smoke. My search wasn't going too well. That was when I ran smack into Demyx again, nearly spilling the cup of fruit punch he was holding in one hand all over the front of his shirt. I _swear_ I was looking where I was going! The guy just _materialised_ right beside me! Either he'd retained the art of using portals of darkness, or he was just really good at sneaking up on people.

Or maybe he just loved to give people heart attacks. He seemed to be trying real hard with _me_, anyways.

"Hey, Rox! What's the rush?"

My head whipped around distractedly and I stopped in my tracks to regard Demyx for all but zero point three seconds. "Where's Naminé?" I blurted, not wasting any more time, hoping against hope that the guitarist would know something about my sister's whereabouts. "Seen her anywhere? She said she'd be with Aunt Yuna!" There was something like panic in my voice. I needed Naminé, for crying out loud!

Demyx blinked, then gave me a smile. A _smile_. Couldn't he see that I was in need of my pillar of strength? My guiding star? My sister?! Couldn't he tell that I was going through some kind of goddamn mid-teenage-life crisis right now? Okay, scratch that. Maybe I wasn't. But I still needed Naminé. I didn't know _why_ I did or _what_ I was going to tell her. I just needed her to be _there_. For me. _With_ me.

Demyx's voice brought me back to reality and so did his stupidly cheerful grin. "Whatsamatter? Lost your twin? Aw, poor wittle Roxy-poo," he cooed in what he must've thought was a soothing voice. Like _that_ was gonna calm me down! Quite on the contrary, really. I really wanted to smack him upside the head. That would teach him to call me, what was it, _Roxy_-_poo_?

"Demyx?" I grounded out. "Do _not_ ever call me that again."

The musician visibly winced at my tone. I must have looked murderous. "Alright. _Okay_. I'll remember to keep that in mind."

"Damn right you will. Where. Is. My. _Sister_?"

"Um, Naminé, huh? Can't say that I've seen her. She _was_ with Auntie Yunie. But she disappeared after that. Too many people in the crowd, y'know? It's not like _I_ keep track of her, or anyone else for that matter. I ain't no mine-detector! Or, uh, person-detector. Eh… whatever. Don't worry, you'll find her soon enough. Wait for dinner, she'll come 'round."

I glared at him for a few moments, looked around at the dozens of people milling about, returned to glare at him once more, and then sighed in defeat. "Yeah. I guess…"

"Lighten up, Rox! You seem so stressed out and tense!" Demyx said, a little too optimistically for my liking. If only he _knew_. "Chill out, alright? Dunno why you're in such an awful mood, but relax a little! We're all here to have fun!"

I refrained from glaring at him again. I think I've done enough glaring at people to last me a lifetime. I settled for a headshake. And I think I gave in for a little while.

"Alright," I muttered, massaging my temple with one hand (I hope my head doesn't explode anytime soon). "Fine. Wanna go sit down somewhere and catch up?" I suggested slowly. And I didn't know why I suggested that in the first place. Well, I guess I figured that maybe talking to Demyx would help me calm down, or at least help me get my thoughts sorted. Yeah. I needed them sorted. Badly. The appearance of _Sora'sbestfriend_Axel_goddammit_ had totally fucked me up and I was still trying to make sense of the whole situation.

"Yeah! I'd love to catch up with you! C'mon, let's go over there." And Demyx dragged me over to a considerably quieter corner of the house and we sat down on a couple of conveniently-placed high-backed leather chairs. Y'know, those expensive types. The Leonharts weren't cheap. I think they believed cheapskates deserved to go through all seven levels of hell. Pity, really. I knew _I_ was a cheapo.

I let him do most of the talking. He knew I wasn't a talkative guy, so it worked in my favour. I just listened (or at least _pretended_ to listen) while he prattled on about how the ocean was so blue, how the grass was so green, how he hated it that people at his workplace (he worked part-time at a café) always judged him by appearances, and other such nonsense. Or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention. Until he ventured into an odd topic that brought all my straying thoughts to a standstill.

"Hey. Have you ever been in love?"

I believe I blinked at him. A few times.

"What?"

That was all I could really say.

"Love," he repeated. "Cuz I think I'm head over heels with this guy I met at the café."

Oh _god_.

"Guy?" I echoed weakly.

"Uh-huh. Zexy's so totally awesome, y'know!? I think I'm smitten. I love him!"

"You? And _Zexion_?" My eyes were probably as wide as saucers. It was meant to come out as 'You found _Zexion_!? Ohmygodwhatthe_fuck_?'. But it didn't come out like that. It just came out as 'You? And _Zexion_?'

Jesus. But I shoulda seen it coming.

Demyx looked at me funny. "I didn't tell you his actual name… wait, do you _know_ him?" He sounded almost excited.

"Nevermind! No! I _don't_ know him." I nearly shouted, as though I had to defend myself. It was not a lie. I didn't know Zexion. Well, okay. Maybe it was a white lie. I didn't know Zexion in this life. I knew him in another. A complete white lie.

But that's basically what I am now, right? A white liar. That was exactly what I was in this life.

Anyway, _Demyx N. Aeco_, my frigging _step-cousin_, had _his own_ life. Nothing to do with mine. Nothing at all. _At all_. As much as it hurt, I didn't feel like I should barge into his life and complicate my own. I didn't want to involve myself with anything I didn't think I could handle. Especially not the love life of the former Melodious Nocturne. He was quite capable of complicating everything by _himself_, thankyouverymuch.

"Well, okay…" Demyx looked downcast, then suddenly brightened up again. "I think I'm gonna' try asking him out this weekend. You think he'll say yes?"

I stared at him. Then sighed inwardly. Why was he telling me all this again? Oh right, because I suggested that we should go sit somewhere to 'catch up'.

"I don't know, Dem. I really don't know," I muttered.

And actually, I _did_ know. I knew Zexion would say yes. I knew because The Cloaked Schemer would have said yes to The Melodious Nocturne. I knew because Number VI loved Number IX. Why the hell would it be any different now in the afterlife? I frowned and mentally kicked myself for thinking such a stupid thought. Maybe it wouldn't be the case at all. Because if it were, then what about XIII and VIII?

Goddammit.

Demyx continued to speak. "Yeah, I know, I know… I guess it's kinda bold to be just asking him outright like that. Even Larxene thinks I'm being a little too straightforward."

I looked up. "Wait. Larxene?"

Demyx sighed dramatically and shook his head. "Yeah. Haven't you been _listening_ to a word I've been saying for the past fifteen minutes? Larxene's my boss at the café. She's the mean little chick who didn't want to hire me at first because she said I looked like a wimp and stuff. And I told her rather indignantly not to judge me by my appearance and that my mohawk was _not_ wimpy. And then she hired me, saying she liked my attitude."

"I… see."

"Yeah. Maybe I should just wait it out, y'know? With the whole asking Zexy out thing. I'll give it more time…"

Somewhere in my mind, I think something snapped. Really. Something just shattered. Cracked. Splintered. Broke into two.

"No, Demyx," I told him, voice almost flat and toneless. "Go for it. Don't wait. You never know when he might disappear from your life." _Again_. "Don't. Don't fucking wait it out. Waiting on something to happen is…" I looked away. "Well, you'll get tired of it."

Very tired.

I know I was.

I've finally found what I've been looking for for so long for. But was my wait really over?

Truthfully, I had no idea.

* * *

**VI. The Reunion Dinner**

I stuck with Demyx until dinner arrived. I've never been this close to him. Or at least I didn't think I've had any reason to be so connected to him in any way. Not since Organization XIII. In this life, I've always felt Naminé was the _only_ person whom I could truly feel comfortable with. Because she _knew_ and the others didn't. But maybe reconnecting with the others was a good thing. Maybe it meant we could rekindle something. If not memories, then an understanding. A new friendship. A new familiarity.

But I knew that starting all over again wasn't easy.

Dinner came around. We all (us kids) hung out at the back. That was where I finally found my sister again.

Naminé had called out to me as soon as I walked through the glass doors and stepped onto the veranda tiles. The air was mildly cold out here. Anyways, she was already seated at the table next to Kairi with a plate of food. She waved at the empty seat to her left indicating that she wanted me to sit with her. And that was exactly what I did. As if on instinct, she noticed something off right away. She was very perceptive, dear Naminé. Especially when it came to her twin brother. Me.

"You're acting very odd, Roxas. Why aren't you talking? Is something wrong?" she murmured quietly so that only I could hear her.

What? Me? Acting odd? _No way_. …Oh yeah, like I could actually lie to _Naminé_. As much as I wanted to, I also wanted to tell her everything. But I didn't know_ how_. What was I supposed to say?!

In the end, I didn't think I needed to explain _anything_ to her. Because a few seconds later, she caught sight of Sora and Axel coming out of the house. That was all that was needed to bring _everything_ to light.

She only stared at me after that for a long moment, then whispered two words in a voice that sounded like her heart was breaking. I think it almost broke mine.

"Oh. Roxas…"

And she just reached out and held onto my hand all through dinner in silence.

I think it helped.

What didn't help was that I think she was trying not to cry. For me.

* * *

**VII. The Gambling Den**

I had managed to remain pretty far apart from Axel and Sora in general. Why? I don't know. Why don't you tell me? But they were seated on the veranda steps so it didn't matter. What _did_ matter was that when some of the adults came out after finishing with dinner and Luxord started a gambling den on the veranda table, _everyone_ came around to invade our space. It had only been me, Nami, Kairi, Riku, Yuffie, Vaan, Penelo, Zidane, Marlene and Garnet at the table. The others had been elsewhere eating. Now that dinner was over, a whole bunch of randoms decided that maybe a few games of poker would do us good. After all, gambling was an awesome way to like, socialise and get together as a group, right? All working towards some common goal (to cheat people of their hard-earned money) and all that jazz, right?

They were so wrong.

Not only did they totally take over our table, _gambling_ was _so_ not what I needed right now.

But Naminé told me to stay in my seat and just play a few rounds. So that was what I did.

Notice a trend? Everything I did, I did for Naminé. But if I told you _why_ I did what I did, you probably wouldn't understand. She's all I actually _have_ here in this bleak life of mine. She's the only one who gets me. She's always known what was good for me.

If she thinks I should stay. Then I'll stay.

Hey, it's not like playing a few rounds of Poker and Blackjack with the family and Axel Onér was a bad thing, right?

_Right?_

He sat across from me.

Axel, I mean. Directly across from me. I was seated between Naminé and Garnet. He was seated between Sora and Demyx. If you wanted to know, the entire arrangement around the table went like this: Me, Naminé, Kairi, Leon, Cloud, Reno, Luxord, Demyx, Axel, Sora, Rikku, Yuffie, Vaan, Penelo, Zidane and Garnet.

Yes. It was a big table.

_Now_ do you understand why I didn't want to play? I told you before that I didn't like crowds. This was no exception.

All through the game, I tried not to stare at Axel too much. It's like, you know, when you haven't seen someone in ages and you want to see if that person's changed in any way, or whatever. I kept looking. Discretely of course. It wasn't like I wanted to _scrutinise_ him too badly. I didn't want to give him the impression that I was stalking him with my eyes. _He_ was always the one with the freakish stalking tendencies in our previous lifetime. Not me.

Oh, yeah. The irony. Did I mention I wasn't a fan?

He had pretty hands. That was what I kept thinking about whenever we were dealt a new round of cards and he held them up in a fan between his thumb and fingers. Pretty hands. Pretty fingers. Long and spindly. The same fingers that used to wield deadly pinwheels of metal and spikes, conjured by fire. What did he use to call them again?

I didn't know. Couldn't remember. My thoughts were subverted when Naminé brushed her hand over mine to get my attention. I think she did it on purpose. To get my mind away from thoughts of the past.

"What do you have?" she murmured, peering to look at my cards.

"Five and four," I whispered back.

Sucky cards for Blackjack. I know.

I got a ten for my next card. Nineteen. Good enough.

But I still lost my money that round.

I didn't care. I was still thinking about Axel. His eyes were just so green. They kept drawing me in. And his hair, his smirking face, his tattoos… He really hasn't changed. Much. Two piercings on one ear and an extra tattoo peeking out from his collarbone under his shirt (I couldn't really make out what it was but it looked vaguely like a tongue of flame – who would've guessed?). That was probably all that I could really see that was different about him.

Anyways, as the game waged on (we had switched to Poker now), Luxord (_Uncle_ Luxord) was getting pretty miffed that Axel kept winning. Over and over again. Really, the former Gambler of Fate wasn't very amused. At all.

"Hah! Ownage!" Axel crowed triumphantly during our fifteenth game in.

"Nobody can play _eight rounds_ of Poker _straight_ and _not lose once_!" Luxord admonished. "_Nobody_!"

I wanted to groan at the goddamn irony in his words. Really, I did.

"Too bad, old timer! Suck it up!" Axel grinned as he swiped the whole enormous pile of poker chips from the middle of the table and added them to his already-massive heap. "I'm on one hell of a winning streak tonight!"

And he looked across to me and winked.

He actually _winked_.

It was a flirtatious gesture. That much I knew. Why _wouldn't _I know? He _always_ did it. Always. It was a first in this life though. God, I never knew how much a person could actually miss a _wink_.

Okay. I admit that I _had to_ roll my eyes at that. Reflex action. I _swear_. But when he looked away, I couldn't help but smile a little. The wink had reminded me so much of old times.

Naminé kept glancing back and forth between me and Axel and I was actually getting increasingly exasperated. I was finding it extremely hard to concentrate on the card game as it was. I could read the expression on her face. It was just radiating with the question, _'what are you going to do, Roxas? What now?'_

What now. Yeah. What now.

I know I'm never going to say anything to him. Not about what _I_ knew and what _he_ didn't. I wasn't going to tell him _anything_, just as I've never told anything to anyone else about the past, apart from my sister. But knowing that I _wouldn't be able to_ kind of tore at my heart. I knew that if I _did_ say something about our past history together, I'd probably be seen as a loony.

Well… screw it. I didn't know. I didn't know what to think anymore.

I'm just glad _at least_ the stupid redhead was showing _some _interest in me. Well, he should, anyway. Or I would just haaave to correct that.

* * *

**VIII. The Singing**

Naminé pulled me aside to a secluded corner once we were done with the gambling. I was even surprised at myself that I actually stayed for the whole game. I thought I would have just got up and left after playing a couple of rounds. But I actually stayed the whole way through. Anyways, yeah, my sis pulled me aside to chat. Our first actual conversation in private where there were no prying ears. Yes, it would've been pretty hard to eavesdrop on us, I'd be willing to bet, because they (as in Sora and my bunch of loud-mouthed cousins) started to _sing_. Oh gods. They just _had_ to do this every fucking reunion. I just had to wonder _why_.

Anyway, back to Naminé…

"So, he doesn't know anything?" she was murmuring to me.

_Well gee, like it wasn't already obvious._

"No one _here_ knows anything," I countered, starting to get a trifle annoyed. What did I have to defend? Only the fact that it wasn't just Axel who knew nothing. It was the same with the others. Yes, I was getting annoyed. But I just knew I used anger and irritation to hide other feelings. Like disappointment. And hurt. And I think I felt a little betrayed. Even though it was the same for everyone. But I had hoped maybe, just _maybe_, he was gonna be different from the others when I finally found him. I had hoped maybe, just _maybe_, he would have _remembered_. I guess now that the hope I had, however fleeting, had more or less _died_, I just felt, I dunno, cheated. I wasn't angry at Naminé. I was angry at the world in general, I think. And life. When was life ever fair? _No one here knew anything._

"_No one_," I echoed bitterly.

"Except us," she said, her voice small and delicate and fragile. Like a flower dying.

"I wonder why," I muttered dryly. "Maybe God hates us or something."

She sighed softly. "I know," she soothed. "It feels terrible – knowing things about other people, sharing memories with other people, and then having them not remember anything. And I know it's worse for you than it is for me. My life wasn't terribly interesting and I hardly had anyone there for me, really. But it's okay for me because over time I've gotten quite used to having people forgetting all about me. Y'know, memory-wipes and everything." She laughed sadly. "Changing memories, erasing them… Even before this life, I had to get used to the fact that I would not be remembered by others. You on the other hand… you went through so much… it's only natural that you'd feel like you've lost so much. I… I had nothing to lose to begin with. Not as much as you. Everyone just ended up forgetting who I was."

I looked up sharply and straight into her blue eyes. That was when I realised something. I realised it maybe a little too late. Too, too late. My sister. Naminé. She'd been suffering so much more than I had ever cared to acknowledge. It was always _her_ who was there for me. She was always _there for me_. It was only _then_ that I _finally realised_ that… I wasn't always there for _her_.

She'd been _suffering_ even before this life even _started_.

"Nam… oh fuck… oh god… Naminé…" I didn't know what to say to her. I had only _just_ realised it. And I regret not seeing it all sooner.

She stepped back from me and gave me an intense look as if to say _not now, Roxas, not now_.

But I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around her. I think it was long overdue; the embrace.

We hugged all the time. But this time it was different. A lot different. Because it was me conveying something to her that I couldn't put into words. And I think she understood, because I think I felt her tremble slightly against me.

But I guess the embrace wasn't nearly enough to help. Not nearly enough to help erase the fact that I'd been so ignorant of her own pain and suffering. Too little, too late. Too little, too late.

"I'm sorry… I'm so _sorry_, Naminé."

"Roxas. Please. _Please_. Don't. Just let it go. I told you," she pulled away from me and there was a small, vacant and glassy smile on her face that hid her sorrow, "I'm fine with it. I'm okay."

I frowned at her, because I knew it was a lie. I always knew when she was lying, just as she always knew when I was lying.

"Okay, Roxas. You're right. I'm _not_ okay," she conceded quietly with a sigh when my frown deepened. "But I _will_ be, alright? I promise."

"Promise?"

"I promise," she repeated.

I didn't believe her. But I let it go for now.

"Anyway," she continued, "right now, I'm more worried about you. What… what will you do now?"

"What will I do now? You mean about Axel?"

"Yes."

I looked at her for a few moments. She looked intently back at me, like she wanted to know what my next plan of action was. I really didn't have one. Well, I did. But it pained me to say it. It really did. So I looked away from her gaze. Avoided it completely.

"I'll let him go. I guess…"

It was all I _could_ do. At least that was what I told myself.

My sister was silent at that. She was just quiet. Still. Unmoving.

She just didn't say anything for awhile. The noise of Sora's singing engulfed us entirely. From the corner of my eye, I spotted my brunet cousin, wedged in between Kairi (wholovedhimlovedhimlovedhim) and Riku (whomhelovedhelovedheloved). I caught a glimpse of Demyx, crooning and strumming his guitar (thatwasmeantobeasitarsitar_sitar_).

And still, my sister was silent.

Then…

"You can't let him go, Roxas."

"Why not?"

"Because you love him."

And I saw red hair. I saw green eyes. I saw _him_. He was looking at me.

And there was a tightness in my chest.

Because I _had_ loved him. I _had_.

And in this life, I think I _still did_.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__One more chapter to go, guys. The chapter with the good part. ;)_

_It may be posted a little late because I'm snowed under university work and assignments. The sad thing about that is the fact that __**my birthday's **__**this Sunday**__. And I'll be stuck __**studying**__ my butt off. In the immortal words of __**Hayner**__: "DOESN'T THAT JUST TICK YOU OFF?!" D:_

_**Reviews**__ are nice. Especially __**constructive**__ ones that detail what you like/dislike so far. What were your favourite/not-so-favourite parts? Et cetera. :) _


	3. Parte III

**LENGTHY DRIVES AND STUPID PEOPLE  
**_**A Companion fic to Mashed Potatoes and Family Reunions**_**  
**_Parte III_

_**Author's Note: **__We have come to the final chapter of this series. It's a long chapter, mind you. Enjoy!_

_Oh yeah, people have asked about the pronunciation of Axel's last name: Onér. It's pronounced 'O-neer'. Like 'engineer', just replace 'engi' with 'O'. :)_

_BIG SHOUT OUT TO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE: __**Zheyne, blu blade, Geesesaymoo, Miharu-tenshi, ScuzzyToast, xWhisperWolfx, p3achy **__and __**LollipopLove**__. Thanks for the awesome reviews! I adore you guys!_

_Now, ONWARDS!_

* * *

**IX. The Toast**

"Separate your right from wrongs, come and sing a different song, THE KETTLE'S ON SO DON'T BE LONG, MON CHER!"

"Guys! C'mon, _stick to the beat!_" Demyx yelled over everyone as all of them attempted to sing Robbie Williams' Let Me Entertain You in (semi-perfect) unison.

"SO COME ON, LET MEEEEEEEE ENTERTAIN _YOU!_"

My ears were going to bleed. They were. I swear. There was something like a mini migraine in between my eyes right this very moment and it was trying to implode my brain matter. The noise and banter from the intoxicated adults inside the Leonhart residence added to the screeching voices of the makeshift choir (if you could call it that) out in the backyard veranda. It was getting sort of annoying and bothersome. But, you know, being experienced with family reunions and all, I've learnt that the only way to get over it is to endure it.

We (as in Naminé and I) just kinda sat somewhere in a darkened corner in the garden on the lawn next to a few rose bushes under the star-filled sky and stared at everyone from afar.

Demyx, in all his radical glory, was having a ball. Gotta hand it to the musician, he was a real pro on that guitar of his. I'll bet he could totally kick John Mayer's ass with his skill. But I expected no less from the former Melodious Nocturne. Music was his forte.

Sora looked like he was thoroughly enjoying himself too. Couldn't help but wonder if his happy blissfulness was being generated from his close proximity to his one true love. Riku I mean. Sora's ultimate boy-crush. They were seated side-by-side. Kairi was there with them too. The trio. Sora, seated in the middle of Kairi Lexa and Riku Mesna (whowerenotbestfriendsbutrelatives). They looked… strangely _perfect_. Laughing and rocking back and forth in each other's arms like they had no care in the world. It was like looking at a flawlessly complete photograph. Nothing missing. I had to admit, I was feeling a little jealous. Guess everyone wanted what they couldn't have, huh? Part of me was screaming that I wanted to be just like them – no harshness of a haunting past to fuck their lives up. Part of me wanted that. Quite badly. There was never a day where I wouldn't wake up in the morning wondering what it's like for me to _forget_. But then, the other part of me wanted them to _remember_. The bottom line was… I wanted too much. And maybe as some kind of punishment, I couldn't get _anything_. At all. But that was stupid, because Naminé never asked for anything, and so why was she being punished too? She should be among those free-spirited people sitting under the veranda roof right now, singing a mix of silly campfire songs and 90s pop music with no knowledge of Nobodies, Somebodies and not-so-forgotten memories.

Why was I acting like some shitty emo anyways? Dammit. Here's the real reason why I despised family reunions. I would end up sitting somewhere and brooding my life away, staring at familiar (not-so-familiar) faces and just generally suffering. Aren't I pathetic? I know I am.

I shook my head, sighed. My sister's tiny hand clamped over mine. I recognised the gesture for what it was. It was a gesture of comfort. _Be strong, Roxas_, I could hear her say in her heart. _Be strong._

Naminé knew me more than she knew anybody else.

I glanced up, scanning the congregation of relatives for Axel. He was never hard to catch. I would never miss him in a crowd. He looked happy. So care-free. Blithe. Liberated from the empty burden of being someone who once had no heart.

There was that same constricting feeling in my chest again. I didn't know what it was. I wanted to believe it was resentment I was feeling. Something bitter. Something cold. But I couldn't bring myself to think that.

He looked so happy. He looked so, so happy.

_Be strong, Roxas. Be strong._

Anyhow, midnight arrived and it didn't take long for the neighbours to threaten to call the police to get us all arrested for the crime of attempting to shatter their windows in the middle of the night. I guess it served them all right for their horrid singing. If you ask me, I had no frigging idea why the hell I had such boisterous relatives. Me and my sister were probably the _only ones_ remotely quiet. Even people whom you would _think_ would just sit/mope around, shut up and glare at people during parties (you know who I'm talking about) had taken their turns in causing a scene. But of course, all in all, Sora had taken the stage tonight. And as much as I loved my brunet cousin, I really didn't think much of his singing abilities. On a scale of one to ten, Sora Leonhart's talent for singing equals negative twenty-five.

That said, following the colourful threats by disgruntled next-door (and next-street) neighbours and such, the jamboree started to wind down at last. It _was_ getting pretty late. And yes, with the winding down of family reunions came the final act in the cabaret.

"Fill ya glasses up, peoples!" Laguna was yelling as he poked his head out the door to regard all of us in the backyard with a beaming grin that indicated he was awfully drunk off his face, and suddenly, he reminded me of Sora when he was high on sugar-filled/caffeinated products. Like father like son, I suppose. "And gather yerselves around the dining hall! TOASTING TIME! Hustle, guys!"

Oh joy.

The toast was a family tradition. No, don't question it. It was a stupid tradition, I'll admit, but it was tradition nonetheless. I personally didn't very much like The Tradition That Was The Family Toast. And it was usually because I didn't have anything much to contribute to the family honour, really. Not that I really cared or anything. It was usually Demyx or Reno or Leon who had anything particularly interesting going on in their lives that the family found they should commemorate. Demyx, the wannabe rock star with his newly-formed band and all that jazz. Reno and his stupid good looks and his stupid charm (yes, me being a freakin' two-faced, hypocritical bastard again) that made him the family favourite. Leon and his tendency to just draw attention to his prettyboy face even though he never did anything worthy of recognition (except act sarcastic and speak in monosyllables). Oh yes, and I should probably add that Sora got his fair share of attention too. He liked people, and it would only stand to reason that people would like him in return. He was a likable guy, Sora. And that was probably true in whatever other lives he's ever lived.

Naminé grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into the house, a serene smile on her face that I knew was a brittle façade. I envied her ability to always stay optimistic, even when she didn't have any reason to.

"C'mon, Roxas! It's the final stretch. The toast'll be fun! Let's go!"

I just nodded wearily, resignedly, and let her lead the way to the dining hall. She was right about one thing. It was the final stretch. The night was almost over. Thank god.

Me and Nami had grabbed our drinks on the way. Mountain Dew. I downed the entire cupful before even reaching the dining hall. Whatever. We all managed to cram into the dining hall and formed somewhat of a wide circle (oblong, really) around the table. Call me a dependant sook, but I refused to be separated from my sister as the crowd shifted. I know, I know. I was seventeen fucking years old and kids my age _don't_ cling to their siblings like leeches. But I just felt the need to, alright? Call me soft and spineless. I don't care. Naminé's always been there for me. However, Aunt Yuna's youngest sister, Marlene, had other ideas. She was forcefully vying for Naminé's attention and the damned kid dragged her to the complete opposite end of the room because she wanted "Naminami" to stand beside her while they drank to random announcements and speeches. You know how little girls are with their idolisation for the older kids. Marlene adored my sister.

So I glared daggers at Marlene and stood in the only empty spot left that I could find; the spot in between Aunt Quistis (Luxord's sister, yes) and _Axel_.

Axel Onér. The newest problem in my godawful life.

I was _very aware_ of the fact that he was _staring_ at me. Didn't show that I was. But I could feel his green eyes stabbing at me from the side. I didn't know if I should feel disturbed or annoyed or indifferent. It was kinda hard to decide. If I were Organization-Roxas, I would probably either be indifferent or annoyed (indifferent because I was used to him staring anyways, and annoyed if he was more than _just staring_ – really, he told me once that he actually enjoyed undressing me with his eyes). If I were Stranger-Roxas who knew _nothing_, I would probably just settle for disturbed. I dunno, I felt kinda –

"Hey. Your glass is empty."

Damn. Okay, honestly I wasn't expecting him to talk to me. Hearing his voice again made me jump and look round at him maybe a little too quickly. I stared at him. Maybe a little too long, cuz he waved at my empty glass indicatively. Then I realised what he had actually said. I looked down at the goblet clutched in my fingers, scowled, and looked back up at him. _What did my empty glass have to do with anything?_ I wondered disconnectedly. Oh right. This was a toast. Wait… did I care?

"And?" I muttered, kinda suddenly unsure and uncertain about how to act around him. _Him_ who had been something of a best friend (more than just a best friend? Something like faux lovers? What the hell was love to a Nobody?) in a life he didn't know about. A life long forgotten. A life long gone. Well now, aren't _we_ in a familiar predicament? Just the other way around I suppose.

Major kick in the head. I am now _officially_ enlightened. Organization-Axel must've felt like shit when he found out I _forgot_. Irony. Irony. Irony. Goddamn irony. Hey, at least now I wasn't the one who was blank with a capital 'B'. Haha, right? I'm rolling on the floor laughing on the inside.

NOT.

… Okay. Fuck it. That didn't make me feel any better.

Oh. Did I mention how much I hated irony? I think I did.

"Aren't you gonna drink to your family?" Axel was saying. And hell, his voice was beautiful. Clear as crystal. Smooth and suave. It made something like a light, tingling shiver travel down my spine. It made my heart flutter. Oh god. How I missed his voice. How I missed it so.

I think I just gave him something of a helpless shrug. I didn't know what to say to answer his question. But then again, no, I did not feel like toasting to the family. There was no point, unless toasting was like throwing munny into a wishing well to wish for much-desired miracles, or something along those lines. I reckon I'd be better off with the wishing well though.

And then Axel grabbed my wrist.

I was so startled I was lucky I didn't just drop my glass and shatter it into thirteen million pieces. And then I realised he was just pouring some of his pink lemonade into my empty glass. Nothing else. But really, just as he grabbed me, my heart had sped up so fast that I nearly thought I was going to keel over and die.

"There!" He sounded extremely happy with himself. "Now you aren't so left out of it!"

I gaped at him, incredulous. My heart was still trying to calm itself down and not make me go into cardiac arrest. It hurt. It did. The way he grabbed my arm like that… the touch, the tugging of my arm… it just reminded me of so much from the past, y'know? It hurt.

Why did it hurt?

Whatever. I didn't feel like thinking about it right now.

Besides, it was time to toast. Toasting was fun. Like Naminé said.

No. Not really. Not _at all_, actually. But whatever, I couldn't think very coherently now.

Then I realised that this was Axel's first time at one of these traditions. I wondered if he thought my extended family was completely crazy. But then again, he _was_ best friends with Sora (of all people) so I guess maybe he didn't think so.

The toasting was a long affair. First, it started with a solemn commemoration in honour of our recently deceased relative Ellone – Sora and Leon's half-sister. Actually, she's been dead about four years now, which is quite a long time. I was never really close to her so I didn't miss her terribly. Go on, call me a heartless, unfeeling asshole. I assure you, I think I can handle it.

Then they went on to more senseless proclamations. Some of the more interesting ones included:

1. Leon toasting to Yuffie for successfully incapacitating some Vincent Valentine guy two weeks ago by ramming her bicycle into him.

2. Yuffie toasting to Leon for being an idiot blockhead with an ugly scar and a fetish for leather and fur.

3. Luxord (_Uncle_ Luxord) toasting to the Lexa siblings for getting into the modelling industry and telling them not to follow the trend of morphing into skinny, anorexic and/or bulimic fashion carbon-copies.

4. Sora toasting to Cloud for losing his job (why would he _do_ that?), and to Naminé for hooking up with her boyfriend (Hayner).

5. Aunt Rikku toasting to Aunt Yuna, congratulating her on her upcoming marriage with Tidus ("And may you have many fat, happy babies and name them Tuna and Yudus and Tuna the Second and Yudus the Second, and so forth!")

Just as the whole episode was about to end, Naminé had the final word, which surprised me. She raised her glass and locked her eyes on mine. Blue on blue. Blue on blue. Her eyes so blue like mine (notminebutKairi's), her hair so golden (likemineandonlymine), her expression filled with nothing but love and affection. It radiated from her and I could feel it, despite the distance between us.

"To Roxas." And her voice was so quiet and solemn and sincere and tender. "Just because."

And her eyes flashed to the redhead standing to my right. And then back to me once more. And Sora yelled, "TO ROXAS STRIFE!" which made the whole room cheer and scream my name.

And I believe I cracked a smile.

My first real smile for the night.

I think I knew, with Naminé's support, I would be alright. I'd be okay. Somehow.

* * *

**X. The Goodbyes and the Sleepover**

Kairi Lexa made a big fuss about saying goodbye. She didn't exactly want to be 'cruelly ripped apart from darling cousin Soraaaaa'. (Her words. Not mine.) Reno had to forcefully drag the girl out of the house.

Sora himself didn't want to say goodbye to _anyone_. People-lovers were usually sad to see people leave.

"Dude, I'm glad you're staying over," he told me glumly as we both stood by the front door. He was staring forlornly after our second cousin (the one with the sickeningly long mess of silver hair) who had just left with the rest of his family after they bid their farewells. "I'm now officially depressed that it's all over." He pouted for a few seconds while I shook my head in mock-sympathy. And then he threw himself forward, wailed melodramatically and clutched at my arm. "I won't see him till Halloween, Roxas! HALLOWEEN!"

I had to pry him off me.

"Sora-" I began.

"HALLO_WEEEEEN!_"

"SORA. Get a hold of yourself! Man! He doesn't actually live _that_ far from you. You don't need to wait till the next family event to see Riku. Just take a stupid bus to his place! You could even _walk_. He lives like, ten minutes away from here! I mean, hello? _I_ live five hours away!"

The youngest Leonhart blinked and cocked his head to one side to regard me for a moment. Then he straightened. The smile was back on his face. "Y'know what? You're riiiight. Well gee, you're a genius!" Then the smile vanished as quickly as it came. "But…" _Oh here we go again._ "Buuuut… I can't just call him up and say 'oh hey Riku, I'm gonna go visit you today, for today is such a _wonderful_ day for me to go visiting!' He'll think I'm weird!"

God. I didn't want to tell him that he was already weird _by default_. And what the hell did he see in that I'm-too-badass-for-you prick anyways? Huh. I wouldn't know. I'm not Sora, after all. Nobody or otherwise, I was me. Not Sora.

"Well, suggest something like a get-together with like, maybe the three of you. Kairi, you and him. Plan a shopping trip or a movie night since you guys live pretty close anyways… That way it won't seem like you're desperately vying for his undivided attention."

"I am _not_ desperately vying for his undivided attention!" he objected, arms flailing, as though offended by the mere thought.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Um. Okay, fine. Maybe you're right," Sora conceded. "But that's a _super_ idea though! THANKS! You're awesome Rox! Maybe you could come with us too!"

"Yes… And I suppose I'll just fly into Twilight City in my personal jet all the way from Destiny Town. Or maybe I could glide here with my super flying powers."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Destiny Town… Damn. You live too far away."

"A minor exaggeration."

Sora grinned helplessly. "Well. One day," he told me. "One day, Rox."

We continued to chat for awhile longer by the doorway before his parents came around to tell me and Nami and Cloud that we could sleep in the guest rooms for the night. I would usually bunk in Sora's room whenever I stayed over, and we would always stay up late and talk about random stuff till the sun rose. But seeing as Sora already had another guest to entertain…

Well, the Leonharts had like five separate guest rooms in their house. Cloud took his own, but me and Naminé agreed to share one. We got a big room, located on the third floor. Apparently, it had been the old room that Leon and Ellone used when they were growing up as kids. I guess that's pretty much why there was enough space for two large beds (and a TV, a full sofa set, a walk-in wardrobe, an adjoining bathroom, and a huge wooden desk with a potted plant sitting on it). I do believe calling the room 'nice' would be the understatement of the century. It was definitely _not _lacking in the amenities department, that was for sure.

Naminé was tired. And I knew it. She knew that I knew, so she knew I wouldn't hold it against her if she didn't stay up and talk to me about things that would have been better off not said anyway. She kissed me on the forehead (like she always did every night), tucked herself into bed, sort of mumbled a 'goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite', and drifted off to sleep as soon as the lights were flicked off.

Me? I found it extremely difficult to sleep. I had other things on my mind. Namely the redhead who was now probably asleep in Sora's room.

I tossed and I turned and I sighed, finally resorting to staring up at the ceiling through the pitch blackness in the oppressive silence.

I remained like that for what seemed like hours, just laying on my back and looking up blankly, trying to quash the bitterness I felt about my situation.

In the end, I just gave up trying to sleep altogether. I threw the covers off me, got out of bed quietly and headed to the door, careful not to wake Nam. Then, I made my way downstairs. All was quiet at this time. Everyone was probably worn-out from the party and knocked out as soon as they hit the sack. I just wanted to clear my mind somehow, so I wandered around in the darkness pretty much aimlessly for awhile. I knew Sora's house like the back of my hand. Maybe even better. We used to be childhood buddies back before I had to move away from Twilight City (parents' decision – they believed the busy, hectic lifestyle of the metropolis was too much to handle) and I would always stay over at his place and we'd do all sorts of crazy stuff. I wonder what happened to those days…

I finally made up my mind to head out the back and just sit in the shadows and watch the night sky. Hey, maybe there were meteor showers and shooting stars out there. But then, as I was passing the kitchen, I heard noises. Muffled clinking of cutlery on china. I decided to investigate. And curiosity killed me.

It was Axel.

Axel was in the kitchen. The very place I met him for the first time in this lifetime after waiting for so long.

God, I bet you it was written down in the Big Book of Fate and Destiny that we were destined to continuously meet in the Leonhart kitchen no matter what.

I ended up just standing by the doorway and watching him. I don't think he realised that I was there at all. He was seated with his back towards me by the small table and was eating something from out of a bowl. I suppose he was hungry, which was strange because there was more than enough pizza that went around during the party. I didn't know if I should make my presence known, or continue on my way to the veranda. In the end, I just kept watching him. I'll admit, even from the back, he looked captivatingly beautiful. His red hair looked messy and unkempt, like how it always looked after sex. And yes, I would know.

Then he finally turned around and caught sight of me, his green eyes locking onto my blues. He looked surprised; almost happy to see me.

My heart skipped a beat.

"Hey, gorgeous. You're up early."

_Oh. You're gorgeous too. Sogoddamnfuckinggorgeous._

I kinda walked/stumbled over to the fridge involuntarily, feeling the need to move and not just stand still at the doorway like an idiot. Okay, no. I just felt the need to avoid his piercing gaze.

But his eyes followed me anyways. His eyes always followed me.

I do believe I replied to his comment whilst I rummaged through the fridge for something. Anything. I can't remember what I said to him. And there was hardly anything edible here. The fridge I mean. Which was dumb. What kind of loaded family would have _nothing_ in their fridge? And _why_ the _hell_ was I thinking of the stupid fridge anyway? …Mashed potatoes, a half-eaten bowl of salad, twenty cans of Sprite, milk, leftover hotdogs, apples, paopu fruit, bottles of beer.

"Uh, can't sleep?" he asked.

_Yeah_, I wanted to say. But I didn't. _And it's all your fault_, I wanted to tell him. But I didn't. Just shrugged, grabbed a bottle of beer and shut the fridge, then looked at him pointedly. He stared back at me. Well, more towards the beer bottle in my hand. Yes, Ax, I'm drinking alcohol at three in the morning. Don't you try to stop me. I need it.

He didn't say anything.

I just left.

* * *

He found me again out on the veranda in the darkness. Well, no. He wouldn't have known I'd been standing there if it weren't for me asking for a cigarette. And actually, I was surprised he gave me one. Really. But perhaps I shouldn't have been. Anyway, we had a conversation. That was when I learnt he was nineteen. I was seventeen. It was strange. When I met him in Organization XIII, he had been twenty-two, I'd been fifteen. Don't ask me how things worked. I didn't even know if Nobodies could've actually aged. They had no hearts or whatever, they were only shadows of their Somebodies. I wasn't a Nobody for more than two years anyway. I merged with Sora about a year after I came into existence. So I really wouldn't have known.

Axel had a way with words. Really. And I hated him that he did. He had a way with words even if he didn't know how much of an effect they were taking on me. His words killed me on the inside. It seemed that every time he opened that mouth of his, he would say something that made the bitter feeling come back, intensified a hundredfold. Goddamn you, Axel. You knew, didn't you? You _knew_. You fucking knew it.

'_Letsmeetagaininthenextlife.'_

You knew we would.

'_Sillyjustbecauseyouhaveanextlife.'_

You knew it'd just be me out of the two of us who'd live the next life like _this_. You knew it'd just be me who'd _know_. Well, fuck you for knowing. And I hate it that I can't just simply hate you for it.

Axel had a way with words. He really did.

"So, what's up with you, anyway, Rox? You always like this to everyone or is it just me?"

_Wouldn't you like to know._

"Yeah. Actually, I would. Something wrong?"

… _Just you._

"Touché."

You bastard.

* * *

**  
XI. The Table Sex  
**  
When he asked me if homosexuality ran in my family, something in me snapped completely. Broke clean off. That was it. The catalyst. Axel, you goddamn fucking son of a bitch. How much more did you want to kill me from the inside?

I had enough of this shit.

I shoved him against the pillar and punched him. Hard. Every inch and fibre of my being was screaming at him for torturing me like this. Torturing me and not even _knowing_.

He fucking _deserved_ it. Even if he didn't know what he _did_ to deserve it. My heart was dying, goddammit.

And then he grabbed me, spun me around and pinned me against the damn table. And all of a sudden, I was very aware of how close we were. His chest was pressed up against my back and he was just holding me there, down on the table. Fuck. Deep-rooted memories were starting to fog my mind. Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_.

I struggled, elbowed him in the gut and tried to gain control again. I whirled 'round and attempted to get him the fuck _off_. But then he kissed me. And everything shattered like frozen ice and stained glass and shards of light and my vision blurred.

I was like a dam that held everything back. And now I've burst and every single fucked up emotion just rushed forward in a torrential storm. My desperation, my need, my _want_. Memories swirled and whirled crazily and made me so damn dizzy. I kissed him back forcefully, frantically. I _had_ to. I wanted to taste him. I _needed_ to taste him. I needed to know he was real and _here_, even if he wasn't the same… wasn't mine anymore. I still needed to feel him more than ever. And so I kissed back like I was a drowning man who badly needed him to keep me breathing. To keep me alive. To keep me sane in this harsh reality. I bit his bottom lip, then vehemently shoved my tongue into his mouth when he cried in protest. His mouth was so hot and so wet and so sweet and so bitter and I still wanted it anyway. He tasted like fire. It burned and hurt, but I wanted more. I couldn't wait any longer.

I wanted him.

And I think he wanted me too. His blazing emerald eyes showed it. Half-lidded, hooded. Filled with lust. It was one emotion I was truly familiar with when it came to Axel. Or at least the Axel I knew during our days spent as Nobodies. If anything, I wanted to pretend. To pretend that this was real – he was still Axel. The Axel who was mine. The Axel who claimed I was his. But then again, who was I to say that? This guy _was_ Axel, wasn't he? This couldn't be any different. I loved him. Or rather, I think in this life, with a heart, I could finallyfinally_finally_ say that I did.

My fingers jerked and snared in his hair and I treated those deep, fiery red locks like my lifeline as I pulled him down closer against my body. His fingers found themselves under my shirt. I could feel them, warm and calloused and spider-like, snaking down lower and lower and lower down my chest, my torso, my lower stomach, my pelvis. Once he got to the waistband, he stopped the foreplay. In the heat of it all, I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that he never liked foreplay anyway. And then he shoved one hand down my pants and started to grind the heel of his palm against my rapidly hardening erection.

Ohgodfuckyes_fuck_. It felt so fucking _good_.

I let out the smallest of a hiss when he finally wrapped his fingers around my length and I all but bucked upwards uncontrollably, wildly thrusting into his hand, grinding against his fingers. He pumped his fist up and down, stroking me hard and fast and relentlessly. Don't stop don't fucking stop Axel. I whimpered. I cried. And fuck, I could feel that I was losing myself to the pleasure. I was saturated in it. Green eyes flashed above me and fire ripped through my body and I knew, as he made me ride his fingers and made me moan his name over and over and over like a prayer, I _knew_.

He nearly broke my back when he pushed me further into the table at this odd angle, but then he lifted me clean off my feet and down onto the surface, my back flush against the tabletop. He ripped the clothes off me, everything. All gone. And then he did the same for himself. Flung them all in a pile at the bottom of the table. Then he climbed on top of me, straddled me, right there on the flat surface of the goddamn Leonhart table. Sweat was everywhere and I could smell him as he pressed himself down against me and started to grind, his crimson hair falling into his eyes and mine. The back of my mind told me that his hair smelt like strawberry shampoo and oven-burnt chicken, his body smelt like sea salt and a mix of something like cigarette smoke and dying embers of a bonfire. Through my blurred vision I saw the extra tattoo on his collarbone in its full glory at last. A tongue of flame. A lick of fire. And within it, something like the roman numeral eight and a cross that was not really a cross.

_Two Across,_ it flickered in my mind somewhere. _Two Across and VIII and firefirefire. _I felt hot tears prickling my eyes.

His hands trailed down my thighs and back up again to clutch at my ass as I arched up against him, our pelvises grinding. He trailed deep kisses along my neck and scraped teeth along my jaw. He nibbled and bit at my flesh, soft and hard at the same time. My hands scrabbled down his back and my fingers dug deep into his skin, razor sharp nails trailing bloody cuts and earning low hisses of stinging pain from him.

"Axel…" I panted, and my voice was quiet, soft, pleading. I knew I was pleading. I was begging. "Please… please, Axel, I want you," I whispered. Oh god I did I did I fucking did want him.

"You want me inside of you." It wasn't a question. But I sensed hesitation. I sensed _hesitation._

"_Please_."

"You're sure?"

OhgoddamnfuckyouAxelyouneverhesitatedbefore.

"_Yes_. Just fucking _do it already_!" I cried out, tearing my blood-soaked nails down his back until he screamed and snarled at me and gripped my sides harshly and turned me over, pushing me down face-first against the table.

And he pushed into me rough and hard and unyielding and I had to bite back screams. My lip split and I tasted blood. Tangy, coppery blood. As well as the salt of my tears.

I came.

He came.

His name was the only thing out of my mouth.

And through it all, the rough sex, the re-emersion into an old routine almost long-forgotten, I think finally (_finally_) came to a realisation.

* * *

**XII. The Decision**

I entered the bedroom quietly and slowly. Naminé was fast asleep, lying peacefully under those warm, paper-white sheets. I watched her for a moment, her steady and rhythmic breathing filling the silence of the room. Then, I entered the bathroom and took a short shower, washing all manner of sticky liquid off me. And I found that no matter how hard I tried scrubbing them, some of Axel's blood still remained under my fingernails.

Making sure I didn't nick any of the more painful bruises I'd gained, I dried off with a towel, changed carefully into new clothes and walked back into the room, sitting down at the edge of my bed gingerly and with painstaking care.

Naminé must've stirred some time during my time in the shower because then, I heard her whisper out of the darkness in a dreamy, yet clear and resonating voice.

"So. Made up your mind on what you're going to do from here?" was what she said through the black darkness of the room that my eyes hadn't yet adjusted to.

I was quiet for a few moments. Naminé knew everything. And I knew she did. But this time around, I decided that I would give her an answer straight from my heart.

So I got up and approached her (I could tell that she noticed the slight limp).

And when I got to her, I leant down and hugged her.

"Yeah," I murmured into her ear. "Yeah, I think so.

She hugged back, gently kissing a particularly bruising bite on my shoulder. "I'm glad," she murmured, caressing my wet hair lightly. "It's about time you let go of the past and started to embrace the future. I'm really proud of you, Roxas." Her small fingers found the two sparkly keys that hung on the chain around my neck. "Keep the memories and keep the oaths, don't let them fade into oblivion. Just remember that you still gotta keep moving forward, alright?"

I nodded mutely. She smiled.

"I'm glad," she said again. "You've made up your mind."

Yeah.

I've made up my mind. I was going to start this anew.

I wasn't going to go on brooding about the unfairness of my life or yearn for the 'what ifs' and 'maybes'. I was going to learn to let go of something I know will really never truly come back. And learn to live again. It didn't matter if he didn't know anything. It didn't matter that the others didn't know anything. I would build something new.

And Naminé spoke again, this time her voice was light and curious.

"How was it?"

I pulled out of the light embrace and looked at her. "What? The sex?"

"The sex."

"It was… it was like I was XIII again, and he was VIII."

"Just like old times?"

"Yeah. Just like old times."

And I could see a rare, happy grin on her face. It was a nice change, compared to all those small, sad half-smiles she always used to direct towards me. I love Naminé. And I could never have asked for a better sister.

_Some things are meant to be found all over again, Roxas, no matter how long the wait. I'm glad you've finally found what you've been waiting for. And I'm glad you can now finally keep moving on. I'm so, so proud of you._

_Thanks Naminé. I love you._

I believe we both fell asleep curled in each other's arms that night.

And the next morning as soon as I awoke and headed down for breakfast, I told myself, told my beating heart, that no matter what it took (or how long I needed, or how hard it was gonna be), I was going to start this all over again and make something new and _real_ out of something old and dormant.

And when I saw the bar of sea-salt ice cream in Axel's fingers upon meeting him _again_ in the Leonhart kitchen, I knew that it was going to be a lot easier than I thought.

* * *

**XIII. Epilogue**

We exchanged phone numbers. Well, no. He gave me _his_ number. I never gave him mine. But he learnt what it was from Sora anyways.

We met again on Halloween, two months later. This time the reunion was at Demyx's place. Sora had actually asked permission for his best friend to tag along and the Aeco family had wholeheartedly welcomed Axel. Everything played out quite nicely in our favour, actually.

He dressed up as Count Dracula. Why? No idea. But then he asked me what in the hell _I_ was supposed to be with the silly costume_ I_ had on. Well, I didn't expect him to actually know what I was wearing. Naminé (of course it had to be Naminé) had made it specially for me and me only. _"Halloween"_, she told me, _"would be the only time you'd ever get to wear it without being ridiculed and laughed at". _

Yes. So true.

"It's a uniform," I told him.

And he fingered the material of my costume and gave me a wide grin, showing long pointy vampire teeth.

"Black. Hmm… Nice. Kinda… kinky. You look real sexy." His fingers found their way to the front zipper of the coat, tugging at it seductively (like he always used to). "I _like_ it."

"Yeah. I kinda thought you might."

_**End.**_

* * *

_And now for the credits to roll!_

**CHARACTER APPEARANCES (and their respective game debuts):**

Roxas Strife (Kingdom Hearts II as 'Roxas')

Naminé Strife (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories as 'Naminé')

Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII as 'Cloud Strife')

Axel Onér (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories as 'Axel')

Demyx N. Aeco (Kingdom Hearts II as 'Demyx')

Sora Leonhart (Kingdom Hearts as 'Sora')

Squall 'Leon' Leonhart (Final Fantasy VIII as 'Squall Leonhart')

Laguna Leonhart (Final Fantasy VIII as 'Laguna Loire')

Raine Leonhart (Final Fantasy VIII as 'Raine Leonhart')

Reno Lexa (Final Fantasy VII as 'Reno')

Kairi Lexa (Kingdom Hearts as 'Kairi')

Riku Mesna (Kingdom Hearts as 'Riku')

Luxord O'Neil (Kingdom Hearts II as 'Luxord')

Quistis O'Neil (Final Fantasy VIII as 'Quistis Trepe')

Marlene Lesca (Final Fantasy VII as 'Marlene Wallace')

Penelo Lesca (Final Fantasy XII as 'Penelo')

Yuna Lesca (Final Fantasy X as 'Yuna')

Rikku Norua (Final Fantasy X as 'Rikku')

Vaan Norua (Final Fantasy XII as 'Vaan')

Paine Kisaragi (Final Fantasy X-2 as 'Paine')

Yuffie Kisagari (Final Fantasy VII as 'Yuffie Kisaragi')

Tidus Kandarzand (Final Fantasy X as 'Tidus')

Zidane Tribal (Final Fantasy IX as 'Zidane Tribal')

Garnet Tribal (Final Fantasy IX as 'Garnet Til Alexandros XVII')

**OTHERS MENTIONED:**

Hayner Elggurts (Kingdom Hearts II as 'Hayner')

Olette Summers (Kingdom Hearts II as 'Olette')

Zexion Rëdaer (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories as 'Zexion')

Larxene M. Luxia (Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories as 'Larxene')

Ellone Leonhart (Final Fantasy VIII as 'Ellone Loire')

Vincent Valentine (Final Fantasy VII as 'Vincent Valentine')

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__And it is done. I know I skipped some significant scenes that were in Mashed Potatoes and Family Reunions. But I felt like I didn't need to add them here cuz it'll just be a repetition of what I already wrote before. Just go back and re-read MP&FR if you need to get the whole picture again. :)_

_There were no OCs used in this fic. Wow, I am __**good**__! LOL. I _did_ steal characters from like, a dozen other Square Enix games though. And that probably made me lose points for originality and creativity… Or maybe it's the other way around? I dunno._

_ALSO. For people who had no idea what the whole _**'**_**Two Across'** thing was all about, the keychain on the Two Across keyblade (only available on KHII:FM+ after defeating Roxas) is the little silver cross zipper thing on Roxas' Twilight Town jacket. Thus, Axel's collarbone tattoo included that little symbol along with the number VIII and fire._

_I'm not sure what I'll be doing after this… I have a few one-shots that I want to post, followed by a few multi-chaptered fics that I've been methodically plotting out on paper. We'll see, yeah? I might even write additional sequels/prequels pertaining to this series. I quite like writing in the context of this universe. It's all bittersweet like dark chocolate. _

**Lastly, leave a friendly review! :) Constructive criticism is welcome. In fact, I encourage concrit, so long as it's… well, constructive! Other than that, THANKS FOR READING, GUYS! Hope you've all enjoyed this two-part series!**


	4. Bonus Scene

**LENGTHY DRIVES AND STUPID PEOPLE  
**_**A Companion fic to Mashed Potatoes and Family Reunions**_**  
**_Bonus Scene_

_**Author's Note: **__Okay, just a short bonus chapter to tie up some loose ends. __Remember when Roxas couldn't find Naminé after he met Sora and Axel in the kitchen (in part IV)? Demyx told Roxas that he saw her with Aunt Yuna, then she disappeared. Ever wondered what she was up to? Bet you do!_

_I didn't want to add this chapter to Lengthy Drives and Stupid People initially, because LD&SP was solely from Roxas' POV. However, I guess I've finally decided to stick this deleted bit in because… well, I have my reasons. It's written in third-person this time. :) Treat is as a 'missing scene' during __**Part IV (The Kitchen Convergence)**__ and __**Part V (The Talk with Demyx)**__._

* * *

**IV/V. Naminé's Private Conversation**

Flicking her radiant locks of feathery blonde hair over her shoulder in one fluid motion, Naminé smiled a warm smile, bowed her head in apology and excused herself from her aunt's presence. The young woman seemed to want to be left alone with her fiancé anyhow. Naminé didn't want to stick around and prevent the couple from having some time to themselves; after all, poor Tidus _did_ look a tad awkward and out of place at the family reunion.

There was something to be said about Aunt Yuna. For one, she was unquestionably heterochronic. Naminé had read somewhere that heterochromia was extremely rare. And Yuna, oh, she looked absurdly pretty with those dual-coloured eyes of hers. An odd combination of crystal blue and bright green with beautiful spiral-patterned swirls around the iris. At twenty-four years of age, the young woman was engaged to Tidus Kandarzand and they were due to marry very soon.

The Strife twin smiled to herself as she wandered away from the two lovers, her thoughts running astray, and she briefly wondered whether her brother had managed to find Sora yet. She really didn't mean to blow him off like that. She certainly didn't mean to seem frustrated or exasperated. But the way Roxas had reacted to Reno's sudden appearance made her wonder if all his waiting and all his _believing_ that 'he' would turn up had finally taken a toll on him.

Naminé sighed softly and adjusted the light-reflecting gold bangle around her wrist. _Life can be cruel, _she told herself sadly, shutting her eyes for a few moments and trying to block out the sounds of loud chattering around her.

But then, an affectionately quiet, almost husky, voice caused her to open her eyes and look up; straight into strikingly emerald green eyes.

"Hey there, princess."

And a bright grin immediately plastered itself onto her face. It was something of a reflex reaction to her by now.

"Riku!" she exclaimed, surprise flitting across her face momentarily. She immediately extended her arms to embrace her older cousin, taking care not to spill the half-filled cup that was clutched in his hand. "How are you?" she asked cheerfully.

Riku Mesna returned her hug and ruffled her hair adoringly with his free hand, grinning back.

"Little Nami! It's been ages since we've last talked. Well, how am I? I've been doing good. Just got into college and all." He stepped back a little. "And what about you?"

"Me?" Naminé tilted her head to one side, her hair dropping into her eyes. "Coping I suppose," she said finally.

"Oh." Riku's expression changed entirely and he frowned. "Just 'coping', huh? Why, Nam? Why is it always just 'coping' whenever it comes to you?"

Naminé smiled but said nothing. She knew what he meant by that.

Riku sighed, shaking his head. Naminé, the quaintly picturesque girl he's known since forever, was always always _always_ so evasive and vague – like wisps of smoke and mist. He could _never_ remember a time when he didn't feel like she was keeping deep, hidden secrets from him. Sometimes, he had trouble trying to tell if she was happy or sad or really telling him the truth. It bothered him a great deal. He didn't know how many fabrications of emotions he was going to take from her before he had enough.

He decided not to question her about it this time.

"Well." He coughed delicately. "And your brother?" he finally mumbled, as though not really wanting to ask in the first place but knowing he owed it to the girl before him. It was only logical that he asked.

"Which?" she replied.

Riku gave her a look as if reprimanding her for feigning ignorance. "You know which," he said simply.

Naminé shook her head, expression saddening. Yeah, she knew which. Really, Riku had no particular reason to ask about Cloud, of all people.

"He's doing worse than me," she revealed quietly, voice low and just a little hollow.

"… I see."

A short silence.

"Riku? Why do you make it a point not to get close to him? Why do you insist on keeping yourself in the dark from him?"

The silver-haired boy looked startled at the sudden question. Hadn't he already gone over this with Naminé years ago? "He hates me enough as it is," he answered, voice strained. He was avoiding her gaze. It always made him uncomfortable to talk to her about her twin brother. He was always a tricky subject to Riku.

Naminé looked dubious. "I'm sure he'd give you a chance if you told him," she murmured, looking away with a hint of a pout. "You told _me_."

"I told _you_ because you're not _Roxas_. He doesn't need to know about me. He only needs _you _to be there for him."

"We all need each other."

Riku disagreed. "He doesn't need me."

"Doesn't need you? He needs all he can get! You're being selfish, Riku."

"No way."

"Just cuz _you've_ found what you've been looking for," Naminé muttered, shaking her head. "Riku, they've been with you all your life. All your _lives_, I should say. This one _and_ the last one."

Riku was contemplative for a few moments. He didn't have to ask to know that she was talking about Sora and Kairi. And what she said held some truth. Both of his friends (now-turned-cousins) have been with him forever. He looked at Naminé understandingly. The way her shoulders sagged and carried all that melancholic despondency for both herself and her brother. It was very much upsetting.

Well. Maybe some of her burdens would be lifted one day. Soon.

"… He's still looking for him, isn't he?" he asked quietly at last.

She nodded with tired eyes. "Yes."

"Well," Riku gave a half-smirk and took a sip from his drink, "he won't have very far to look tonight."

Naminé couldn't help but frown at that. What did he mean by that?

"I met Sora's best friend a few minutes ago. Y'know, his best friend from school, or something like that. Don't think you've met him yet. But you will." Riku's green eyes twinkled. "I'm _sure_ you will. He's staying the night, apparently."

Naminé blinked, and she opened her mouth to say something. But before she had the chance, a jubilant voice piped up from out of nowhere.

It was Kairi.

"Riku! They said we could go outside now!" the young Lexa sibling called, running over to them both. "Oh! Hey, Naminé!" She practically beamed at her blonde cousin. "You're looking well!"

"Hello Kairi," Naminé nodded in acknowledgement. "You look stunning tonight. And your hair! Did you do something to it?"

Kairi looked positively ecstatic that Naminé had noticed. "Yeah! I re-dyed it a shade lighter!" And she twirled around on the spot, her hair fanning out behind her.

"It looks fantastic! Very pretty," Naminé remarked sincerely.

The redhead laughed a tinkling laugh. "Coming from the prettiest fashionista I know, that's a _huge_ compliment. Thank you!" And then, she turned to Riku. "Um, oh yeah! I asked Aunt Raine and Uncle Laguna and they both said we could go out on the veranda now! So, I was just wondering… Wanna go claim the table outside before everyone else gets the good seats?"

At that, Riku smiled and nodded. "Definitely." He looked towards Naminé and extended an arm. "Care to join us?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

And so, concerns about the previous conversation already leaving her mind, Naminé Strife took Riku's arm and followed both him and Kairi out to the veranda to wait for dinner to arrive.

_**Fin.**_

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ _Done and done._

_Riku knowssssss. _

_Eh. Why did I pick these two characters to have that little private conversation? Well, our pretty Half-Princess of Heart and her Dark Knight were just so… neglected. Plus, following the events of Castle Oblivion, the KH2 novels hinted a profound friendship between these two. And of course, they wouldn't forsake their friendship in the afterlife, right? ) Okay, so whilst this little scene had hardly anything 'AkuRoku' about it, I just wanted an excuse to expand the relationship of Naminé and Riku a little and show that the two are a lot closer than just 'normal cousins' (behind Roxas' back, of course). I'm definitely going to be writing more for this universe; probably a huge sequel thingy to the whole Mashed Potatoes/Lengthy Drives series. Don't know when I'll do it though. Check back for future instalments. _

_**Random commentary on the twins (that you don't have to read):  
**__**Naminé – **__Truthfully, I never once gave Naminé's character very much thought, especially after getting into the whole Axel/Roxas thing. Lengthy Drives and Stupid People was sort of a character development project and it made me realise (on a whole new level) how deep and complex her character can be. Sure, AkuRoku fans tend to diss Naminé for the sole reason that she's a potential 'obstacle' for the boys. Personally, after making her Roxas' perceptive sibling__, I've come to adore her character. The downside is, now, whenever I come across RokuNami fics, I instantly think: INCEST. D:  
__**Roxas **__– Lengthy Drives was actually planned prior to completing Mashed Potatoes. I had two minds about posting it up though. Because I knew that as soon as I published it, I was taking a risk in potentially destroying the whole Mashed Potatoes fic. I know that 'Afterlife' fics have been overdone to the max. I was glad that the fact Roxas 'remembered everything' was something the readers took on in a positive light. _


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